"Most adult children constantly seek affirmation but do not truly believe compliments and praise when they come." BRB p. 187
Some of us cringed at our own birthday parties because we were uncomfortable with the attention we had originally sought. When our partners found us attractive, we felt nervous and distracted. When others complimented us, the only way we felt worthy of the praise was by returning it.
We achieved all our goals only to find that we were not satisfied. Our dream life with our dream job and dream relationship still didn't fix us. The more successful we were, the more anxious we became.
As we heal in ACA, we learn to accept compliments without needing to return them. We can let the words hang in the air like sweet perfume. We can enjoy when we do something well, not because someone is watching, not because we expect affirmation from someone else, but because we know we did a good job.
More importantly, we can even allow ourselves to fail and still love those wounded parts inside of us - even when others do not. At least we made the effort. Maybe our mistakes will eventually lead to success, but even if they don't, we will be all right. Our relationships with our Higher Power and Inner Children become enough for us. We are enough, just as we are for today, and every day.
On this day, if I do something imperfectly, I will remember that I also do a lot of things right. I have many reasons to be proud of myself.
Copyright © 2013 by
Adult Children of Alcoholics®
World Service Organization, Inc.
Page Number - 346